Am I depressed?? Advice??
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 10:10 pm
Hi (first time sorry if its bad)
I am in high school. My parents are divorced and I have a wonderful step mom. But, my real mom is another story. She fights with us all the time and is always yelling at me for no reason. I will lay in bed reading quotes and just cry. I have extremely bad social anxiety. I always feel like people are talking about me, but then at the same time I feel like i'm not important enough to be talked about. I feel fat, ugly, like a freak, I can't look in the mirror and like what I see cause who likes a freak. I've never had real friends and I have moved around a lot my whole life. I've thought about doing bad things and i can't do them because I am afraid someone will find out. I don't know if i depressed or anything because I don't want to be called attention seeking or something like that, but I also feel like I need some help. I can be out hanging out with friends and then I will just start like shutting down to where I don't want to talk to them and I just want to go home. I'm scarred to get close to anyone and I have built up my walls so high I even have trouble figuring myself out. I used to be happy and do whatever and just be happy. But, that isn't me anymore and I don't know what to do. I feel depressed and I know I have social anxiety, but I don't want to tell people cause I know other people have it worse and I shouldn't be complaining or whatever and be "attention seeking." I can be sitting in class and just shut down and feel sad and want to cry and when people ask whats wrong I don't know what to say because nothing is wrong, but at the same time everything is wrong. Can someone tell me whats wrong or something cause i'm extremely lost.
I've never had a real boyfriend or had someone that cares about me. Even i was able to find someone that cared enough my problems would scare them away. I want someone to understand. Someone that can relate to me and care. Someone that isn't so self centered that they can tell when i'm upset. I just need someone to care enough to help me figure myself out. Or better yet care enough to actually reply to this. I'm not looking for a permanent friend just some help please.
I am in high school. My parents are divorced and I have a wonderful step mom. But, my real mom is another story. She fights with us all the time and is always yelling at me for no reason. I will lay in bed reading quotes and just cry. I have extremely bad social anxiety. I always feel like people are talking about me, but then at the same time I feel like i'm not important enough to be talked about. I feel fat, ugly, like a freak, I can't look in the mirror and like what I see cause who likes a freak. I've never had real friends and I have moved around a lot my whole life. I've thought about doing bad things and i can't do them because I am afraid someone will find out. I don't know if i depressed or anything because I don't want to be called attention seeking or something like that, but I also feel like I need some help. I can be out hanging out with friends and then I will just start like shutting down to where I don't want to talk to them and I just want to go home. I'm scarred to get close to anyone and I have built up my walls so high I even have trouble figuring myself out. I used to be happy and do whatever and just be happy. But, that isn't me anymore and I don't know what to do. I feel depressed and I know I have social anxiety, but I don't want to tell people cause I know other people have it worse and I shouldn't be complaining or whatever and be "attention seeking." I can be sitting in class and just shut down and feel sad and want to cry and when people ask whats wrong I don't know what to say because nothing is wrong, but at the same time everything is wrong. Can someone tell me whats wrong or something cause i'm extremely lost.
I've never had a real boyfriend or had someone that cares about me. Even i was able to find someone that cared enough my problems would scare them away. I want someone to understand. Someone that can relate to me and care. Someone that isn't so self centered that they can tell when i'm upset. I just need someone to care enough to help me figure myself out. Or better yet care enough to actually reply to this. I'm not looking for a permanent friend just some help please.