The American dream?
Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:50 am
I've never had problems, I wouldn't consider myself depressed but at the same token I wouldn't consider myself happy. So far I'm living the American dream single 21 year old male with a loving family a great job no financial issues awesome friends etc etc.. if you seen me on the street you'd think I was normal and living life to the fullest every day. Oh you'd be far from correct, in fact I come home from work and sit in my bed and don't eat dinner because I'm so sick to my stomach most the time. I over think things a lot which result in me just feeling like there is no one to turn to.. I never had this problem in school, yea I was socially awkward but I was still friends with tons of people, partied with popular kids, sat with the band kids at lunch. I was fine in highschool, recently tho I can't find happiness. I've tried so many times. Nothing I buy makes me happy, I talk to a few girls but then I feel like shit cause ultimately I'm just leading them on because I'm trying to find happiness in them.. I've done this to a lot and I believe the guilt is finally catching up to me, or this is my karma. But I'd never think that'd I'd be writing anything on a depression forum.. I'm constantly stuck in my own head, I can't seem to break free of this hold that my mind has over me. I didn't know where else to let this all out and I apologize if it seems like I'm rambling, it's 3am and I've had my first ever break down. I just don't know what to do, this isn't the American dream I wanna continue in.