Drowning in depression

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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redraven
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 2:17 am
Location: Belgium

Drowning in depression

Postby redraven » Sat Aug 05, 2017 2:53 am

It's going to be hard to write this because than it would make it real. But I've been holding it inside for so long and I have to reach out to someone - if only to get the weight of it of my shoulders.
I've been dealing with depression for many, many years - I've been hospitalized twice because of it. However the past 2 years I was doing much better... and than it came back with vengance. It must have been going on for months before i realized I was depressed again.
One day at work my supervisior told me that I haven't accomplished much in my life and that I should think about why that is. That hit me hard - because he was right: I haven't done anything with my life...
The last few months it's been getting harder: I feel at the same time devestated and numb. I haven't talk to anybody about it yet - I don't know with who I could talk about it.
Right now I feel like I'm in an ocean of depression , like I could drown any second. I try my best to stay afloat but I don't know how much longer I can manage...
I'm scared, lost and I don't know what to do.

I could really use some feedback

Thank you for taking your time to read this, sorry about all the mistakes - English isn't my native language

C_lady4
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:48 pm

Re: Drowning in depression

Postby C_lady4 » Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:10 pm

I completely understand how you are feeling and where you're coming from. I constantly need to remind myself what is accomplishment really? Because in the end.... how are we really remembered?.... Not by what we've achieved, but how we've made people feel. You will constantly hear things like he always made people smile...she brought joy to all of us...was always there when we needed him...he was a good man ....not things like he drove a nice car, came up with a new procedure at work.... So when I feel like I'm drowning I make sure to do something nice to someone like pay a stranger a compliment ... cuz you know what? When someone tells me I have a nice smile I feel good for that whole day....so strive to be a good person....not achievements... cuz that's the only thing that really matters.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Drowning in depression

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Aug 07, 2017 2:15 am

Welcome to this group, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. My heart goes out to you at this time. I know it’s not easy to go through depression. It’s a very complex issue that deserves personal and in-depth attention. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? A caring professional would be in an excellent position to offer support and help you to cope with your difficulties. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His healing presence and provide the help you need at this time. Please know that we all care about you and are here to support you. Write back anytime. Stay strong. Sending hugs your way!

IDontFeelLikeMe
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:42 pm

Re: Drowning in depression

Postby IDontFeelLikeMe » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:51 pm

I can relate to how you are feeling. I haven't been feeling myself in the last couple of months but the last month has been brutal. I am irritable, angry and tend to just zone out on my phone or the tv. I barely even play with my two dogs and would rather just lay in bed. I have days where I go into work and feel like the day isn't so bad but then it comes out of nowhere where I feel invisible and the folks at work just don't see me and only come to me when they need something or want to complain. My job is an administrative assistant, so my job is to help everyone in our department, but I find that it is almost unbareable to be around anyone. I feel depleated. Like I spend all my time helping everyone else and my life is just going nowhere and I can't even make myself happy anymore. I've missed work because I just don't want to deal with anyone. This morning I finally emailed my boss and told him what I'm going through & that I just started therapy. It felt good to be honest, but the. I'm beating myself up with being depressed and missing work and not being responsible. It's a vicious cycle. I feel guilty for taking care of myself over being at work. I feel like this cycle will never end. I just hope therapy helps because I'm tied of feeling so angry, tired and just disappointed and sad about my life. I feel like a disappointment to everyone.

ayoung73
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:56 pm

Re: Drowning in depression

Postby ayoung73 » Sun Aug 13, 2017 11:48 pm

Listen, this is a great first step! Continue reaching out, do you have any friends or family who might be available? A lot of people don’t seem to think friends and family will be open or they’d be embarrassed, when in reality, they’re just as scared about life and maybe they have something to share with you; a similar experience. You must be a very strong person to have endured this much weight for so long by yourself, maybe it’s time to get some help to push this out of your road! Don’t listen to your supervisor; there are many reasons why someone would say something like that, pettiness, jealousy, meanness, all sorts! You have different life circumstances and cannot be compared to mine, his, or even your closest friend! You’re working, so there might be an employee benefit for psychological services, maybe it’s time to see a professional? You are important, hang in there!


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