Kicked out (again) don't know where to go.

[LostRaph]

I am 19 years old and have lived most of my life in limbo, however I feel like the last year I was very stable. I graduated high school and moved in with one of my former high school teachers who I always thought of as a father figure. Things were good until about recently, there were issues but none of them too major. A month ago my depression skyrocketed and I attribute a lot of that to finals in college. I often used a journal to write down my feelings and I would feel a lot better. Well about two weeks ago on Sunday my father (former teacher) took me to my weekly counseling appointment, we arrived downtown early and decided to stop into a Starbucks and color/drink coffee before I had to go to my appointment. When it was time to leave Starbucks my dad skipped the exit to go to counseling saying that my mom (his wife) had found a suicide note. Problem is... I never wrote a suicide note. She went snooping in my room, broke my only rule, and read my journal in which I expressed anger towards her and suicidal ideation. She met us at the ER and was nice to me until the counselor came in, then she decided to get pissed at me saying that I was "disrespecting" her and left soon after. My dad stayed with me until 4 am when the ambulance picked me up and transported me to the psych unit where I would remain for the next four days.

During those four days I maintained very good contact and they came for a visit on the one visiting day. Everything seemed good and well when I got picked up from the hospital except when I got home my mom said I needed to move out and go back with my biological family (whom I don't have a good relationship at all). My dad cried harder than I ever saw him cry and wanted to make things work, my mom basically told em to leave because I was "stealing her husband" and "stealing her home". I lost everything when she said that. She blames everything on me saying that I was knowingly hurting her and that I am still hurting my dad by talking to him. I feel like I have lost everything because even a week later she still refused to talk to me and keeps my dad from texting me when she is around. I do not know what to do, I have never felt more depressed/lonely/lost in my life. I need help and advice.

[thephoenix]

Hi

I can't​ say I have been through what you went through, but I know how it feels when someone you trusted and counted on let's you down like that. The pain and disappointment gets hard to bear.

What I can see though is that you have some good things going for you. You're 19 and in college, you have so many choice and options ahead of you. Don't let anyone hold you back. Does your school have financial aid or can they help with a living program? Or is possible to move in with a friend or roommate? Maybe talk to a school counselor to see if they are​ able to help?

I'm not sure why your "mom" was acting that way (maybe she needs help too?), but it seems like your dad really cares. It's hard when you don't have anyone you can trust, but think and take care of yourself, in the end that is what matters.

I hope this was sort of helpful. And I hope you are able to get through this to enjoy a better future

[littlestarsmum]

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, friend. My heart goes out to you. I know how painful it must be for you to go through this. Have you checked for any local shelters and services in your area or near your school? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will intervene in your situation and take care of everything that concerns you. Please don’t stressed out. Like the other poster said, don’t let anything pull you down. Your situation may seem impossible right now, but I do believe there is hope. Stay strong. Hugs & prayers!

[Breakthrough]

I'm sorry for the situation you are in. You have come a long way and you have accomplished a lot despite of the circumstances you are in. Try to think of the blessings you have had and it should give you hope to keep pressing forward. Do you have a friend, or relative that you can stay with? Keep your head up, better days ahead. I am lifting you up in prayer. God bless.