I am losing my mind i think
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I am losing my mind i think
I am a junior in college right now as an accounting major. I have been feeling kind of isolated during this semester especially for a number of reasons. The main reason is i have yet to lose my virginity, and it really is eating me up inside. It really upsets me that i havent lost it yet because i have had opportunities to lose it and just didnt seize the opportunity, and now i live with alot of regret in my life. I have very little confidence when it comes to trying to talk to girls, it gets me upset. i cant stop hating on myself for what i did not do in the past, and i find myself constantly thinking about the fact that i am a virgin, and its making it difficult to concentrate in school and other aspects of my life. If some out there could give me some words of advice to help myself feel better it would be greatly appreciated.
Well, you shouldn't feel bad at all for still being a virgin. It's better to save it for that special someone. I'm not saying you should save it for marriage, but it's better to give it up to someone who truly loves and cares about you.
It probably wasn't the time for you to lose it at those times; you probably weren't even ready yet. You should only do this when you're absolutely ready. Why is it so important for you to not be a virgin?
I have no confidence in talking to girls either, so I know what it's like. They seem so unapproachable, especially the very pretty ones.
It probably wasn't the time for you to lose it at those times; you probably weren't even ready yet. You should only do this when you're absolutely ready. Why is it so important for you to not be a virgin?
I have no confidence in talking to girls either, so I know what it's like. They seem so unapproachable, especially the very pretty ones.
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Emotional_77
- Posts: 850
- Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:21 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Well, that's not what I was expecting when I read the title. Heck, you're
like most of us guys who can't figure the other gender out.
There are 2 routes to go. Others have already expressed the first, which is don't worry about it and save yourself until it's right. The other is to
have protection and hire a pro. A trip to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada would
be the legal thing to do (if you go that route). Even going to a strip club and gaining some confidence while you practice speaking to them could do wonders for you, if you don't make it an addiction.
You probably do what I do and that's you don't take charge and you're all
sensitive and you treat women like they are better than you. That's
not the guys they generally fall for. They want a confident guy who can
dust himself off and try again after they shoot his first approach (or first few approaches) down.
And whatever you do, don't ask permission. Even if they want you to do something, if you ask, "Can I kiss you?", it ain't gonna happen and you'll never recover. Make the move and be prepared to be rejected. Even if they like you, they need to make you do the rejected thing, so you got to get used to it. They hold you in higher esteem when you survive it, for some reason. And sometimes, women who weren't thinking of you in that way, will start to, oncel you made a move to kiss them and they shoot you down.
Look, in a perfect world, they would make the first move half the time. They wouldn't pretend to not like you at first when they really do.
You could ask if they want to do something and they'd be honest.
But that's not the world we live in muh man. If you don't grok this
and then adjust your ways, you're going to be miserable.
You're not losing your mind, bro. You just need to take some action, so
you can get over the pressure of your virginhood. If you're in the States, think about that trip to the Bunny Ranch. That's all I'm saying.
Word to da wise!
Good Luck and Godspeed!
B
like most of us guys who can't figure the other gender out.
There are 2 routes to go. Others have already expressed the first, which is don't worry about it and save yourself until it's right. The other is to
have protection and hire a pro. A trip to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada would
be the legal thing to do (if you go that route). Even going to a strip club and gaining some confidence while you practice speaking to them could do wonders for you, if you don't make it an addiction.
You probably do what I do and that's you don't take charge and you're all
sensitive and you treat women like they are better than you. That's
not the guys they generally fall for. They want a confident guy who can
dust himself off and try again after they shoot his first approach (or first few approaches) down.
And whatever you do, don't ask permission. Even if they want you to do something, if you ask, "Can I kiss you?", it ain't gonna happen and you'll never recover. Make the move and be prepared to be rejected. Even if they like you, they need to make you do the rejected thing, so you got to get used to it. They hold you in higher esteem when you survive it, for some reason. And sometimes, women who weren't thinking of you in that way, will start to, oncel you made a move to kiss them and they shoot you down.
Look, in a perfect world, they would make the first move half the time. They wouldn't pretend to not like you at first when they really do.
You could ask if they want to do something and they'd be honest.
But that's not the world we live in muh man. If you don't grok this
and then adjust your ways, you're going to be miserable.
You're not losing your mind, bro. You just need to take some action, so
you can get over the pressure of your virginhood. If you're in the States, think about that trip to the Bunny Ranch. That's all I'm saying.
Word to da wise!
Good Luck and Godspeed!
B
I read your posting and was trying to understand your concerns on the topic. I'm trying to be as sensitive as possible to your feelings in the posting but I wonder if the main theme is really about virginity and not something deeper or more challenging? It sounds like there is more to the story than something that just one physical act of sexual activity would solve. I hope I'm not over simplifying here but is this really about your virginity?
In all honesty I have high regard for the fact that you have not just given away your virginity for the sake of giving it away. You should be proud that you have waited and that you get to choose when. This advice is contrary to one of the other postings on your topic where someone says "just go find someone bro." That is NOT the answer to your problem.
Would all your problems be solved when you wake up the next day after having your first sexual encounter? Would that help everything else fall into place in your life because you had a night of sex? Not really but it would be a brief distraction.
You asked for advice in your posting so here it goes:
1. Be proud. For some reason you look at virginity as a weakness. I think your a hero. If you don't understand that maybe some day you will when you find out what is really bothering you.
2. Find out what is really bothering you. I just don't think it's virginity.
3. Talk to a counselor (licensed professional) about what's going on in your life right now. It will feel good to know why you feel isolated so that you can do something about it instead of thinking its about getting laid. There is nothing embarrassing or wrong with talking to a licensed professional about the items in your posting.
4. Realize that when you do have sex and lose your virginity, it will feel good of course but it's not going to fix your real problems if you think that's the only solution.
My opinion: (hope you find it helpful and not offending).
There are few things more rewarding than taking the gift that God has provided you (Sex) and sharing it with the person that you love and have waited your whole life for. You will cheat yourself if you give your virginity away for the sake of having sex just to have it. If you wait, you will feel like a KING the morning you wake up next to the love of your life that you saved yourself for which hopefully will be your wife. In return she will love you to the core of her soul knowing that you waited for her. Good luck on your journey.
In all honesty I have high regard for the fact that you have not just given away your virginity for the sake of giving it away. You should be proud that you have waited and that you get to choose when. This advice is contrary to one of the other postings on your topic where someone says "just go find someone bro." That is NOT the answer to your problem.
Would all your problems be solved when you wake up the next day after having your first sexual encounter? Would that help everything else fall into place in your life because you had a night of sex? Not really but it would be a brief distraction.
You asked for advice in your posting so here it goes:
1. Be proud. For some reason you look at virginity as a weakness. I think your a hero. If you don't understand that maybe some day you will when you find out what is really bothering you.
2. Find out what is really bothering you. I just don't think it's virginity.
3. Talk to a counselor (licensed professional) about what's going on in your life right now. It will feel good to know why you feel isolated so that you can do something about it instead of thinking its about getting laid. There is nothing embarrassing or wrong with talking to a licensed professional about the items in your posting.
4. Realize that when you do have sex and lose your virginity, it will feel good of course but it's not going to fix your real problems if you think that's the only solution.
My opinion: (hope you find it helpful and not offending).
There are few things more rewarding than taking the gift that God has provided you (Sex) and sharing it with the person that you love and have waited your whole life for. You will cheat yourself if you give your virginity away for the sake of having sex just to have it. If you wait, you will feel like a KING the morning you wake up next to the love of your life that you saved yourself for which hopefully will be your wife. In return she will love you to the core of her soul knowing that you waited for her. Good luck on your journey.
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SoulInDespair
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:37 pm
- Location: In Hell
One thing that everyone hasn't mentioned here is the issues of STDs. You don't want to hop into bed with just anyone to get it over with and end up catching something that'll be with you for the rest of your life. Something, you may accidentally pass onto that special someone who loves you and you love back. How would you explain that to her? How would it make you feel to make someone you cared about ill? These are things you need to think about also. You can use protection but that's not a 100% guarentee of anything anymore then it's a 100% guarentee against getting the girl you slept with pregnant. Now that would be an embarressing topic to have with someone you love.
As an adult female, I find the fact that you're still a virgin admirable and sweet. Almost romantic. I think you'll find that there are women out there who will feel the same way as I do. That could make you even more attractive to that special someone.
But as it's been stated before, I don't think this is just about your virginity. I think it may lie deeper and I think it's worth looking into with a therapist before you decide to jump into the sack with just anyone.
As an adult female, I find the fact that you're still a virgin admirable and sweet. Almost romantic. I think you'll find that there are women out there who will feel the same way as I do. That could make you even more attractive to that special someone.
But as it's been stated before, I don't think this is just about your virginity. I think it may lie deeper and I think it's worth looking into with a therapist before you decide to jump into the sack with just anyone.
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