Not sure if im myself right now

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi there,

You may of seen on chat that I've been down lately and today was a point I felt it so much.

Today I met up with my friend for coffee and eventhough it was nice and everything when she said she had to go because she needed to be somewhere felt like she didn't care or want to be with me. I know it's silly but that's how I felt.

I have been experiencing this the last few days. It is the time of the month but not sure if before then I was ok. It's got to the point I'm feeling suicidal again.

My mums ill and everytime I'm feeling down I needing to argue or do something cuz I still feel she don't care or understand. I know it's cuz I don't tell her anything. My ex said you don't talk to your mum she don't know what your up to. I know she don't but how can I talk to her when I know she feel disgusted with me.

I didn't tell her other day about the job interview I was going to and didn't make. Something really embarrassing happened after and I don't wanna talk about it. I don't know how to get over this. One of my friends witnessed it and I felt like crawling in a hole. I didn't know what to do.

I don't know if I'm on my own here. I want to be happy and have people to talk to. I'm feeling so lonely these days. Maybe it's cuz I'm out of work but I'm sure it's my mood still. I have been doing all the right things by getting help but again it's still slow. I want counselling but again it's going slow. I'm so frustrated.

I'm seeing a guy at the moment. My mum don't know and wanna see him again but what do I tell her?

I want to feel ok again. I want to make new friends. I want to go out at night again. Nothing's changing. Feel my friends right now don't know me or understand.
My medication is the same so I know it's not that.

Can anyone give me advice or help on what to do? Could do with support? I'm always crying for no reason.

Sorry for the long message. Needed to put this out there.

[TheErickDaniel]

So you want new friends, a new start, a new perspective and a new change right? If you could do that, what kind of mindset would you want? please share with me +1 714-886-6581