A father on his last limb

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KB7588695
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:05 am

A father on his last limb

Postby KB7588695 » Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:13 am

Like honestly my whole life is nothing but pain but I have always pushed past it but it has always been there and now with the events going on the past couple years it just makes all this flush back and I don't like it, I am becoming someone I truely hate. I am becoming someone that refuses to be around his own son just because I don't want him growing up seeing this and being the same way but I can't live without him and I have been on the verge of losing him only because his mother goes out of her way to push the buttons to get me depressed or angry and uses him as a shield as if I would hit her which I wouldn't but then threatens to hit me when I am holding him and I am starting to be miserable and I can't just leave cause I don't have the money and if I leave she will vanish with my son and I just don't know what to do I see myself being dead or in jail soon and both with equal being a failure for my son.....i just can't do this anymore it seems.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: A father on his last limb

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue Oct 25, 2016 1:20 pm

I'm sorry to hear what's been going on. It sounds like you have been having a hard time recently.

Can I ask why your mothers son doesn't want you around him? It seems a bit strange not knowing why.

You said you can't move out because you don't have no money. Do you live with them still?

The reason why I ask is I don't see what the actual problem is.

This must be really tough on you and I'm sorry you are going through this. I do think talking to someone about this would be a good thing. Maybe a counsellor or doctor. Would that help?

With your mothers son. Is there anyway you can talk to her about this and get her to understand how this is making you feel? I'm not sure if you two live together but if you do maybe you both can talk things through.

In the mean time please keep reaching out to us. Were here to help.

Good Luck.

KB7588695
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:05 am

Re: A father on his last limb

Postby KB7588695 » Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:53 pm

We do live together currently and there really isn't any talking to her, I have tried and I have been in multiple therapies over the past couple years and went back for this but was told I am doing this the right way but it's that she just has these illusions that she does no wrong and never sees the bad or wrong she does and always sees bad others do and never the good, she victimizes herself. And I know the best to do is leave the situation but she is so into being the victim I know she would take him and I couldn't live that way. I was the only one raising him since he was born until 2 months ago when I began working. But I never do right n her eyes.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: A father on his last limb

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:38 pm

Ok. It must be difficult living together with all this going on.

I'm glad that you have tried counselling and seeking other kinds of therapies. It sounds like you are doing the right thing now.

There's got to be a level ground I feel here. I know you can't move out and she is difficult to talk to but maybe you both need to set some rules in place or come to some sort of agreement about living together or maybe asking a family member to get you together and talk about arranging something. Sometimes getting someone else to step in can make the situation little less awkward. Would this be something you could do? Another way is having therapy together. Would this be any better?

What do you think about thoses? I do think you need a third party involved. Does sound like the relationship is getting anywhere. It doesn't seem fair.

I'm not sure where abouts your from but you live in the UK or Ireland there's a website you can go on about seeking relationship couselloring online. It's called Relate and you can speak to to them on the phone, in person or on webchat. They are there to help provide support and advice for those experiencing relationship problems. Is this something you can think about? Could you try this?

Remember we're always here. You can talk to us anytime.

I hope that helps.

KB7588695
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:05 am

Re: A father on his last limb

Postby KB7588695 » Tue Oct 25, 2016 5:46 pm

I am in US actually and there really is no talking g to her, starts out as talking but then she always gets negative and aggressive, and the point of all this is I have told her because of the inability to talk to her about anything we are done and that our son is priority and that it all is unhealthy for him to grow up around and again she gets mad and aggressive cause unless it's her idea, which she never gives ideas or plans she would rather drop and forget it happened kinda deal, but if not that then she don't want to listen to it no matter who it is. I have had third parties multiple times, people we know well, people we kinda know and even strangers and all agree with me then she shuts her ears off and stops listening.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: A father on his last limb

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:50 pm

It still does sound like to me you do need a third party involved because as you said nothing seems to be getting better. I know you have tried that but I would keep persisting and say you need help. This can't end like this.

I don't know if you have thought about seeking legal advice and knowing what your rights on being a farther but I do think you should take that up if you haven't and go to a non profit legal advice service. What do you think about that?

If you said she's not willing to listen then the only thing you can do is take this upon yourself and get advice on what to do. I don't know whether you have spoken to family members but it's important you talk about this so they can support you.

Once you get the answers you need then surely whatever you will say to her will be the last thing from you and whatever she wants to do next is fine but your not gonna stop seeing your son.

I do recommend you seek legal advice. Taking to them face to face would be ideal. Also if you have a doctor maybe ask them if they can put you in touch or give you organisations where you can go for this. Is that something you can do?

In the mean time try and do that and try and get out about cuz being indoors won't help and the last thing you want is to feel like you can't breath.

I hope that helps


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