Back once again

[chocolateislove]

For the past 2 months I have been the happiest I have been in an extremely long time.
But throughout those 2 months there was always a voice in the back of my head saying 'how long is this going to last... I know it's gonna end soon'
Even though I was happy I was still constantly waiting for that dark cloud to come, knowing it was going to come probably at the least expected time.
And here I am. It does help to write down how I'm feeling when I am anxious or depressed, it kind of releases it a little bit. I think these past few months have been me accepting that these dark clouds are going to come and go, and that there is no point in fighting it.
I finally got closure from my last relationship, he finally admitted to treating me so badly and apologised over and over. He even cried and told me how much he regretted everything. It was exactly what I needed to hear. But the scars remain, and I am still deeply hurt by everything that happened in that relationship. It was difficult but I am trying to view it in a way that if it wasn't for that happening, I wouldn't have learnt a valuable lesson and I wouldn't be the person I am today.
I graduated and I am seeing someone new. Everything felt good again. But then reality hits home hard. I don't have a job. I don't even know where to look for a job. The person I'm seeing has told me how important I am to him. And I am so scared. How can I be in another relationship? I didn't want this. I wanted to sort myself out, get on the right track, get a job, focus on me... and now I'm focussing on this new relationship when I feel like I don't have the time to. I don't know if I can handle the pressure. I don't even know what I really want. I suddenly feel so small and lost as I feel I am now entering the 'real world' of finding a career and spending the rest of my life working. It makes me feel sick. All I can do is wait, and listen, I'm trying to listen more every day. I watched a film the other day called The Little Prince. It's on Netflix. It was beautiful and came with very important messages. The quote that stood out to me was "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.".
I am trying to follow this. All I can do is have faith and be hopeful for a bright future and try and understand which path is right for me.

[Reiner]

I get how you feel. In one moment you are so happy and the next day it's like you never been happy before. What you just have to keep in mind is that good times will come and you will feel good again. Try to see the positives of your life and like you said learn from your experience. Life is about learning and you are not here to feel depressed I am also struggeling right now, but reminding myself about these things helps me a lot.