Need EXTREME advice and help. im going crazy.....

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Stuke20
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 1:47 am
Location: St.louis,mo

Need EXTREME advice and help. im going crazy.....

Postby Stuke20 » Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:00 am

where to begin sigh*. I'm gonna try to write this to make sense, cause i can't get my thoughts straight. OK. I'm a very unhappy person. i can't even remember the last time i was actually happy. i don't even know what its like to be happy. i been alone basically most of my life. always had very few friends and now I'm getting very distant from everybody. i remember when i was in grade school. each grade i went up my grades would drop. i remember i always sat at lunch alone. students, teachers, and principles would always come up to me and ask me whats wrong. of course i told them i was fine. i was and still am anti social. if someone comes up to me and says something to me, they better have a good reason to talk to me. if not ill walk off or ignore them.i know i sound like an a$$h0le. but i cant help it. i rather be alone, but i want that to change.

i have trouble getting my thoughts straight, i am slow, distracted easily, trouble concentrating, always frustrated, can't go out in public in a good mood. i get anxious and extremely angry. not to mention i have been depressed for at least 8 years pah*. and I'm 18. when i am out in public and feeling the way i just described, i do 3 things. punch something till i cant feel my hand. punch myself in the face has hard as i can till i cant take it anymore.or let someone else hit me as hard as they can. it relieves me just until the pain goes away. never cut myself but now its starting to sound tempting. man i messed up sigh*
when I'm with people i feel the same as described above but i also cant focus on what i am doing. i try to focus on myself but then i zone out like every ten seconds. i feel like a zombie. i mumble all the time. people always ask me to repeat myself. can't breath regularly i always forget to breath... so confused. i have no confidence nor self esteem.no emotions, just the same blank face,never a smile, always looking down. i am a piece of sh*t.

The only thing i care about is my band. we are kick a$s. and that's the one thing that keeps me mind set(sometimes). but man I'm a real shredder. yet again the band is real concerned about me. they think i am on drugs and f*cked up all the time, but i am not. if you look at me you can tell there is something wrong with me.
idk. but if you took the time to read this i would appreciate your advice. i know their probably isn't any doctors on this site. but can someone at least tell me what disorder i may i have. what medication i should try. and someone to talk to. thanx!

Emotional_77
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:21 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby Emotional_77 » Sun Oct 26, 2008 1:13 pm

Well I would need to be a doctor to tell you what disorder you have and the medications you should take but I am here to talk to if you need someone :)


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