DON'T You Dare Ever Give up !!!
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
I'm sorry to have to disagree, but I do. I disagree with almost all of those statements. I can't pretend I agree because I don't.
... Some of these quotes actually make me feel hurt. I've been through a lot of heartache and pain, and I'm a bitter, ugly person. Not sure how other people do it, but I'm not full of light, love, laughter, or happiness.
I'm sorry if that's a disappointment to people. *shrugs* This is one of the reasons why I feel the way that I feel in the first place. Be great if I could be someone other people actually like to be around.
I'd like to post something positive, but I can't think of anything. I want my pain to be valid too. I don't know what else to say other than that I have been here for you, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not. I can't pretend to be happy, positive, or optimistic. I'm sorry that this upsets you. I just can't fake it like other people can. I've never been good at pretending to feel something that I do not feel.
I'm sorry.
... Some of these quotes actually make me feel hurt. I've been through a lot of heartache and pain, and I'm a bitter, ugly person. Not sure how other people do it, but I'm not full of light, love, laughter, or happiness.
I'm sorry if that's a disappointment to people. *shrugs* This is one of the reasons why I feel the way that I feel in the first place. Be great if I could be someone other people actually like to be around.
I'd like to post something positive, but I can't think of anything. I want my pain to be valid too. I don't know what else to say other than that I have been here for you, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not. I can't pretend to be happy, positive, or optimistic. I'm sorry that this upsets you. I just can't fake it like other people can. I've never been good at pretending to feel something that I do not feel.
I'm sorry.
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
Offline, I get treated like trash on a regular basis. No one knows how bad it is for me. This is while I have mental illness, no emotional support, self-harm issues, triggers, and the occasional flashbacks. There are also other bizarre mental anomalies that I have on a regular basis, which are too strange to discuss. All of this is causing me to break down. I'm falling apart. Can't fall any further. Mental hospitals don't help, and neither do people. There's nothing left JonsDragonEyes.
*hugs*
... The worst part is that I'm convinced I'm a burden for even having problems, let alone trying to share them with someone. I can't bottle it up, but there's really very little else that I can do. Nothing's left.
*hugs*
... The worst part is that I'm convinced I'm a burden for even having problems, let alone trying to share them with someone. I can't bottle it up, but there's really very little else that I can do. Nothing's left.
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
Please know this. I know that I'm a perfect stranger and you don't even know me Specter but I do care. And I want you to be happy someday. I want everyone to be happy. I can't stand to see anyone suffer or be so sad or feel so lost that they can't ever see a way to find happiness or comfort again.
I know that these quotes can't magically make everything okay but if they could at least be a tiny , small thing to hold on to I really want so badly to give people that hope again.
When I started reading quotes I must have read them over and over and over again a hundred times and every time I do I keep telling myself I CAN'T give up. I CAN'T ever give up. I have to believe and I have to have faith.
And I don't want anyone else to give up either. Every time I hear about a person who is ready to give up everything it breaks my heart even more. When I think about myself giving up it breaks my heart too.
We can all beat this I know somehow we can. We just can't ever give up.
I know that these quotes can't magically make everything okay but if they could at least be a tiny , small thing to hold on to I really want so badly to give people that hope again.
When I started reading quotes I must have read them over and over and over again a hundred times and every time I do I keep telling myself I CAN'T give up. I CAN'T ever give up. I have to believe and I have to have faith.
And I don't want anyone else to give up either. Every time I hear about a person who is ready to give up everything it breaks my heart even more. When I think about myself giving up it breaks my heart too.
We can all beat this I know somehow we can. We just can't ever give up.
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
Happiness is complicated territory with me. Because of my childhood sexual abuse, which was done in the form of a "game", my subconscious mind associates happiness with abuse. This is usually in the form of laughter, humor, and play. Those three things are usually associated with happiness, so those things trigger me because they were used against me within my incest.
I know I bring that up. It's old news and I need to stop talking about it. Nevertheless, for explanation's sake, that up there is the reason why I feel the way I do. I usually avoid happiness because it sometimes triggers me, and other times, I'm well aware that my happiness is temporary. I have way too much hurt to stay happy, let alone content.
Yeah, happiness is nice. I'm not sure if everyone can achieve it, and for those who seem as though they can't, I sometimes think there is a secret reason why. Sometimes I think people suffer for the pleasure of others and are intentionally kept unaware as to what causes it, just so someone can feel off of that person's pain. There are people out there who are that evil. Worry I might know some of them.
*hugs*
I know I bring that up. It's old news and I need to stop talking about it. Nevertheless, for explanation's sake, that up there is the reason why I feel the way I do. I usually avoid happiness because it sometimes triggers me, and other times, I'm well aware that my happiness is temporary. I have way too much hurt to stay happy, let alone content.
Yeah, happiness is nice. I'm not sure if everyone can achieve it, and for those who seem as though they can't, I sometimes think there is a secret reason why. Sometimes I think people suffer for the pleasure of others and are intentionally kept unaware as to what causes it, just so someone can feel off of that person's pain. There are people out there who are that evil. Worry I might know some of them.
*hugs*
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
I know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed that you don't want to even try anymore. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think to myself , " This is the end I'm so tired , I'm so hurt and I feel so helpless and I can't possibly go on or face another day." And I tell you what .... it is the most dark , horrible, damn scary feeling in the world.
In life we face so many hardships , so many disappointments , so much fear and unfairness but when we give up on all hope for ourselves that's by far the worst of all.
I remember days where my depression/ anxiety was so strong that I could hardly find the appetite to eat or relax ..
I deserve better than this. WE ALL do.
That is why I wanted to make this post. And that is why this post means so much to me. It's very close to my heart.
I hope somehow this post takes off and at least helps some people.
If anyone has any words of encouragement , or strength or hope please write here for others to see.
Like I said I know that we can all beat this somehow. As long as we don't give up.
LOVE and HUGS to everyone here always
In life we face so many hardships , so many disappointments , so much fear and unfairness but when we give up on all hope for ourselves that's by far the worst of all.
I remember days where my depression/ anxiety was so strong that I could hardly find the appetite to eat or relax ..
I deserve better than this. WE ALL do.
That is why I wanted to make this post. And that is why this post means so much to me. It's very close to my heart.
I hope somehow this post takes off and at least helps some people.
If anyone has any words of encouragement , or strength or hope please write here for others to see.
Like I said I know that we can all beat this somehow. As long as we don't give up.
LOVE and HUGS to everyone here always
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100footpole
- Posts: 477
- Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm
Faith
Star,
You inspire me, you help me return to my childhood when I believed if I tried hard enough good things would happen. All through my childhood I would find baby birds that had fallen out of the nest, and would take them home to save them. Often it didn't work out, but sometimes it did, and it was the "dids" that helped me do it again.
Your sayings were like all those baby birds getting better and flying away. That's not how it happened, but the world is a better place because I tried.
Depression makes us think in absolutes. If you put a positive thought out there, someone can counter it with bitter thoughts ... in fact that's almost all we hear about, things going wrong. Those sayings aren't truths that are ALWAYS true, but they are true when we make them true. There are lots of podcasts on "The Science of Happiness", and they seem to indicate that happiness comes from being connected. And although we don't write much anymore I am always connected to you ... when I see something ugly I think about you, and how you might try to fix it. Even if I am not strong enough to make a fix, I have faith that things are getting marginally better on a daily basis. We will never reach "heaven", but the world is a better place than it used to be.
You inspire me, you help me return to my childhood when I believed if I tried hard enough good things would happen. All through my childhood I would find baby birds that had fallen out of the nest, and would take them home to save them. Often it didn't work out, but sometimes it did, and it was the "dids" that helped me do it again.
Your sayings were like all those baby birds getting better and flying away. That's not how it happened, but the world is a better place because I tried.
Depression makes us think in absolutes. If you put a positive thought out there, someone can counter it with bitter thoughts ... in fact that's almost all we hear about, things going wrong. Those sayings aren't truths that are ALWAYS true, but they are true when we make them true. There are lots of podcasts on "The Science of Happiness", and they seem to indicate that happiness comes from being connected. And although we don't write much anymore I am always connected to you ... when I see something ugly I think about you, and how you might try to fix it. Even if I am not strong enough to make a fix, I have faith that things are getting marginally better on a daily basis. We will never reach "heaven", but the world is a better place than it used to be.
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
How can you love yourself if you grew up being hated instead of love? How can you understand the giving and receiving of love if your earliest memories were the opposite? How is there hope if there is no love because, at least, to me, love is the one thing that I know I need? Above all else?
Nothing works. Lied to myself, telling myself that I can think whatever I want to think that would make me feel strong. Those lies last for a fragment of a period of time and then they fell flat on their face.
Programming is a huge, monumental part of who we are. Some people are helpless because of it. It's because the foundations that they needed in life, to build what they are now, were never there in the first place.
Giving up to me isn't scary to me ... but not having someone in my life who actively loves me does scare me. It scares me enough into no longer being afraid of giving up.
Nothing works. Lied to myself, telling myself that I can think whatever I want to think that would make me feel strong. Those lies last for a fragment of a period of time and then they fell flat on their face.
Programming is a huge, monumental part of who we are. Some people are helpless because of it. It's because the foundations that they needed in life, to build what they are now, were never there in the first place.
Giving up to me isn't scary to me ... but not having someone in my life who actively loves me does scare me. It scares me enough into no longer being afraid of giving up.
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JonsDragonEyes
- Posts: 465
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am
I've seen a lot of things in this world.
I've seen the beautiful. The way Mother Nature paints the sky with different colors each time the sun rises and sets. In a way she is one of life's most perfect teachers. I've stood outside in my bare feet in the warm grass and watched thunderstorms roll in with the dark clouds looking like fleets of pirate ships. I've held a firefly in my hand on summer nights and watched the green glow of it against my skin before letting it go fly back into the night. I've felt the warm sunshine on my face and listened to the rain on the roof of my house.
But I've also seen the ugly things in this world. Depression , Anxiety , Diseases , Cruel people , Unfair and downright rotten and unfair situations that life can sometimes put you in.
Sometimes it's even hard to watch the news at night without turning the channel.
The unfairness that things can bring you sometime seem so overwhelming .... but the one thing that nothing can ever take from you is your own heart. And I swear to God that is true. Sometimes we are so fed up that we can't see that anymore ... but it is true.
Nothing can take your heart away from you. NOTHING. Your heart is untouchable.
Life can only take away your heart if you let it. We have two choices in life. Lay down and give and die or fight back.
I hope someday you fight back. That's also why I wanted to post this. Because I want everyone to keep fighting.
love and hugs always
I've seen the beautiful. The way Mother Nature paints the sky with different colors each time the sun rises and sets. In a way she is one of life's most perfect teachers. I've stood outside in my bare feet in the warm grass and watched thunderstorms roll in with the dark clouds looking like fleets of pirate ships. I've held a firefly in my hand on summer nights and watched the green glow of it against my skin before letting it go fly back into the night. I've felt the warm sunshine on my face and listened to the rain on the roof of my house.
But I've also seen the ugly things in this world. Depression , Anxiety , Diseases , Cruel people , Unfair and downright rotten and unfair situations that life can sometimes put you in.
Sometimes it's even hard to watch the news at night without turning the channel.
The unfairness that things can bring you sometime seem so overwhelming .... but the one thing that nothing can ever take from you is your own heart. And I swear to God that is true. Sometimes we are so fed up that we can't see that anymore ... but it is true.
Nothing can take your heart away from you. NOTHING. Your heart is untouchable.
Life can only take away your heart if you let it. We have two choices in life. Lay down and give and die or fight back.
I hope someday you fight back. That's also why I wanted to post this. Because I want everyone to keep fighting.
love and hugs always
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