IS ANYONE OUT THERE A PARENT OF A CHILD WITH A MOOD DISORDER!!??
I'm at my wits end!!!!! I struggle with my own depression. But i also have an 11 year old son who has depression and anxiety. He's also been diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). Long story short: He just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into this "hole" he's created for himself. He won't leave the house, which means he's not going to school, mental health appointments, etc. I'm really struggling here. PLEASE, if there's anyone out there who understands what I'm going through, I desperately need support, understanding, advice, anything you can offer. I feel like I'm battling both my depression and his and it feels like a hopeless losing battle right now. I'm drowning right now. Somebody please throw me a line.
desperate for help
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Sorry to hear what your going through hazeleyes.
I'm afraid I'm not familiar with ODD, but I did have a read up on it. It's always difficult with any child on how they develop and their behavior.
There is a lot running through my mind on this...unfortunately way to much to get in a post. I'll try and add some more thoughts when I get time.
Behavior is a hard thing to deal with because it could be caused by a number of things. How people deal with emotions/feelings is learned, but if this gets disrupted, or sidetracked then it can cause issues.
Here is a thought that may be in left field. Kids have a hard time communicating, and expressing their feelings. If he had been to see a counselor before, maybe try playing a game where you reverse the roles. Have him be the counselor and you are the patient and he's to ask you questions to make you feel better. If there things that are bothering him, he's liable to ask you the questions about it. That way you can lead it into a conversation about how he's feeling/why without coming out and asking him. From there you can work on what maybe the root cause and go from there. Once you know what's really in his mind then you can best deal with it.
I'm afraid I'm not familiar with ODD, but I did have a read up on it. It's always difficult with any child on how they develop and their behavior.
There is a lot running through my mind on this...unfortunately way to much to get in a post. I'll try and add some more thoughts when I get time.
Behavior is a hard thing to deal with because it could be caused by a number of things. How people deal with emotions/feelings is learned, but if this gets disrupted, or sidetracked then it can cause issues.
Here is a thought that may be in left field. Kids have a hard time communicating, and expressing their feelings. If he had been to see a counselor before, maybe try playing a game where you reverse the roles. Have him be the counselor and you are the patient and he's to ask you questions to make you feel better. If there things that are bothering him, he's liable to ask you the questions about it. That way you can lead it into a conversation about how he's feeling/why without coming out and asking him. From there you can work on what maybe the root cause and go from there. Once you know what's really in his mind then you can best deal with it.
Hi hazeleyes,
I just wish it was an area I could help you more in (not that I'm qualified in any of the areas I post in). Definitely a lot on your plate right now for anyone to deal with. You are a kind and loving person and a great mother from what I have put together from your posts.
A few other things ran through my mind.
Maybe you could (If you haven't already) setup a family night and play some type of game/activity together and talk about "stuff". That way it might be easier for your son to talk about what's bothering him or what's on his mind if it's via a game and not directly to you. Maybe start off the session off by letting them know something that is bothering you and how you are dealing with it, or how you day was etc. I'm just thinking of ways to break the ice then get him talking. Plus making sure there is adequate family time in such a hectic world now is important. I know myself I get wrapped up on so many things that I realize that I haven't done anything with the kids in a while.
How are you doing with your depression? Are you doing ok yourself?
I just wish it was an area I could help you more in (not that I'm qualified in any of the areas I post in). Definitely a lot on your plate right now for anyone to deal with. You are a kind and loving person and a great mother from what I have put together from your posts.
A few other things ran through my mind.
Maybe you could (If you haven't already) setup a family night and play some type of game/activity together and talk about "stuff". That way it might be easier for your son to talk about what's bothering him or what's on his mind if it's via a game and not directly to you. Maybe start off the session off by letting them know something that is bothering you and how you are dealing with it, or how you day was etc. I'm just thinking of ways to break the ice then get him talking. Plus making sure there is adequate family time in such a hectic world now is important. I know myself I get wrapped up on so many things that I realize that I haven't done anything with the kids in a while.
How are you doing with your depression? Are you doing ok yourself?
Thank you for the kind words and another good suggestion. I will give it a try. It's kinda funny, these are things that I know, ideas that I would come up with on my own. But because I'm so caught up in the middle of everything, it's hard to think and see things clearly. It's hard to take a step back and look at things from another perspective.
As for my depression, it's a work in progress. My Dr recently prescribed another med to go along with my current med, the current med seemed to be losing it's effectiveness. My depression is chemical, but with all these huge stressors it makes it so much worse. And I hurt so bad for my son. I wish I could just take it away. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. But I know how he feels, some of the things that go through his mind. He's 11 years old and he wishes he wasn't alive. My "baby" isn't supposed to feel that way and it kills me inside. He has so much love and support around him, but he refuses any kind of help. He shuts down and rejects anything positive. Anyway, I know that eventually we will get through this. I just wish the road wasn't so long and treacherous.
By the way, how are you doing? I haven't been on in a while, haven't kept up on other posts. (Kinda been a little preoccupied)
How is everything going with you?
As for my depression, it's a work in progress. My Dr recently prescribed another med to go along with my current med, the current med seemed to be losing it's effectiveness. My depression is chemical, but with all these huge stressors it makes it so much worse. And I hurt so bad for my son. I wish I could just take it away. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. But I know how he feels, some of the things that go through his mind. He's 11 years old and he wishes he wasn't alive. My "baby" isn't supposed to feel that way and it kills me inside. He has so much love and support around him, but he refuses any kind of help. He shuts down and rejects anything positive. Anyway, I know that eventually we will get through this. I just wish the road wasn't so long and treacherous.
By the way, how are you doing? I haven't been on in a while, haven't kept up on other posts. (Kinda been a little preoccupied)
How is everything going with you?Hi hazeleyes,
Hopefully things get better for your son and you soon. I agree, it's one thing dealing with your own depression, another if it's you're child. That would hurt even more.
As for me, I'm ok I guess. I'm learning to accept how it is. I really miss happiness and I often recall back days when I was (although a huge wave of regrets also follow). I've tried pretty much everything and there isn't anyway to fix it. For that brief time on antidepressants trying to save a marriage I never should have been in, changed things for me. It altered my brain chemistry and now it's like I'm on massive amounts of antidepressants. Everything I once liked to do stopped that instant I started taking them and never came back.
It's nice to know that you thought of me though.
Hopefully things get better for your son and you soon. I agree, it's one thing dealing with your own depression, another if it's you're child. That would hurt even more.
As for me, I'm ok I guess. I'm learning to accept how it is. I really miss happiness and I often recall back days when I was (although a huge wave of regrets also follow). I've tried pretty much everything and there isn't anyway to fix it. For that brief time on antidepressants trying to save a marriage I never should have been in, changed things for me. It altered my brain chemistry and now it's like I'm on massive amounts of antidepressants. Everything I once liked to do stopped that instant I started taking them and never came back.
It's nice to know that you thought of me though.
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