Hi...

[itsfirstdayoffall]

Alright.. it's my first time doing something like this and I'm quite nervous.. So hi. I've decided to come on in here and share my depression issues since I can't afford therapy/counseling. A dear ex - coworker of mine suggested that I should join group chats to make me feel better so that's why I'm doing this. In my somewhat traditional family.. "depression" isn't very talked about so my family do not know that I've been dealing with depression since middle school. I guess it started from my insecurities and then it shifted to the high expectations when I got into high school. My siblings have all achieved successfully and I've had so much pressure pressed onto me that I just kind of got scared and flopped. In school, I've always struggled stressed fully and when I got into college, that was when my depression really went deep, deep down.. into my suicidal thoughts. I haven't attempted but I have researched and.. it's still on my mind. I've made small goals ahead of me so I can sway those bad thoughts away but sometimes the feelings just get into me and I cry. I cry for no reason sometimes, mostly at night. There's just an ugly, heavy feeling inside that makes me choke up on tears and then I could be super normal the next day. I think this is enough for a start.. hahah.. thanks for reading. )

[Mg42man]

Hi there.. I understand some of your feelings, we all have bad times.. Im happy to chat to u if u need to? Mike..

[CamilaWillaims]

We all understand your problem but the big thing is that we fight with our problems everything will be okay calm down yourself.

[SirOats]

Welcome aboard itsfirstdayofall.
Some years ago my mother admitted to me that she had sought out depression treatment about 20years prior. For her, the general stigma and having to admit to her family what she did, seeking the help, was the most difficult thing to overcome. She never became truly ok with talking about it, but when she admitted it to me she was clear about how seeking/receiving the treatment was such a great benefit to her. I'm not sure if it matters if you ever own up to getting help, but don't be resistant to seeking external help. In the meantime, I agree with your ex coworker that you've found a beneficial place here. Between this forum and maybe some journaling you can get your thoughts/feelings to place for you to examine them. Here on the forum, take solace that you are not alone. So again, welcome aboard. You are in my prayers.

[foreverbeach11]

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad your co-worker recommended you post. I'm sorry you have been going through this. If you can't afford counseling, have you considered researching support groups in your area? Sometimes support groups are connected to the local hospital or healthcare providers in your area. They are usually free or at a low cost. It's okay to cry. Sometimes I cry to release the emotion. Thanks for sharing. Keep posting if it helps you manage. Wishing you the best.