Does anybody else find this forum ineffective?

[no_answer]

4EverMe, my days are resembling grasping at a handful of tasty grapes off the vine on a vertical wall as i'm falling off the cliff. I've been trying to get on the water in a kayak, windsurfing or stand-up paddleboard almost every day off lately.
I don't know why, but being there alone and self-sufficient for a few hours fills me up with energy and optimism for another few hours until the evening, sometimes even until the next day or two. I don't do most of unpleasant mundane chores that I have to do.
But what is wrong with procrastinating other than a bad connotation of the word itself? Aren't we all procrastinating to some extent preparing for disasters, illnesses, death of our loved ones and ourselves, meteorite strikes and other apocaliptical or less widespread but more probable events? While writing this reply at work rather than attending to my project am I jeopardizing my career, my employment, my future, my means of survival? Sorry to throw so many questions at this thread, but if I had only answers I would not have registered on this forum, would I?

soliloqueen, your post to this thread is very interesting and conveys a style of a very self-reflective and thoughtful person. I didn't have time to read your long story, but that is the nature of the beast: you either reduce yourself to the popularly convenient time-bracketed short description that fetches lots of quick replies addressed to the reduced (therefore, almost generic depressed participant) version of you, or you write about your best representation of yourself that this form of expression allows (a few tomes of autobiography) and wait patiently and pray for a reply that most likely will address the unique person that you are.
I think you found a good balance between these two extremes. I'm making a mental note to read your story as soon as time allows and let you know what I think. I like the way you write.