I wonder if I'm the only one. I'm not trying to label it useless, because it may help some people. I'm coming back here not because it works, but because there is no other place (other places have the same effect, really not much effect). Yet, one keeps hoping.
The problem is I cannot formulate the problem besides lack of interest or ambition to anything. I refuse to accept your explanation, because to label any doubt about reason to strive for a goal a "depression" is as old and worn out as to label any undesirable social conduct as "possession by devil".
So, is there anybody here who didn't buy into "DSM-diagnosis-doctor-talk-meds" mantra that I see all over the forum, yet it is evident that it doesn't work just by the fact of continual presence of everyone believing in it on this website.
Is anyone here who lost hope and creed into the established body of knowledge / dogma?
Does anybody else find this forum ineffective?
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
I think everyone comes here for different reasons, some are looking for listeners, someone to talk to, advice, solutions, friends etc. What is it that you are looking for?
I wouldn't advise against visiting a doctor but personally I don't think it works for everyone. Its expensive and some doctors give out meds like sweets. A friend of mine visited counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, group therapy and nothing really helped her but what she did get was a very big bill.
I think many want to diagnose themselves as no doctor is going to care more about you than you do. Some don't want "depression" in their medical records, some can't afford medical bills, some too proud to ask for help. Coming here is a way to talk to people who understands or willing to understand without being judged and criticised.
I wouldn't advise against visiting a doctor but personally I don't think it works for everyone. Its expensive and some doctors give out meds like sweets. A friend of mine visited counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, group therapy and nothing really helped her but what she did get was a very big bill.
I think many want to diagnose themselves as no doctor is going to care more about you than you do. Some don't want "depression" in their medical records, some can't afford medical bills, some too proud to ask for help. Coming here is a way to talk to people who understands or willing to understand without being judged and criticised.
I personally find this forum effective as it suits the needs i'm looking to fulfill. Am I looking for this forum as the answer to my problems...no. It is a help for me to find a way to my resolution though. I'm not looking for this to be an alternate for therapy though..it's a support forum.
I think the reason that the doctor/meds gets used is because the inherent consequences that can occur if someone is in a dark dire view of life. I think Robin Williams the actor is a good example of what people and their thought process can lead to. I bet anyone here would say he would have no reason to be unhappy..fame fortune...etc. Obviously he thought otherwise. I had an uncle commit suicide and left a wife and three young kids alone. He had no reason to do it.
I think the problem is that for some they don't really know what to ask or how to ask. Therapy will help get to the root of the problem, but for me I didn't find it useful as I was the one leading all the conversations. I knew all the reasons why, I just couldn't figure out how to make me feel better.
I'm not sure what your struggles are...hard to view this forum on a Blackberry, but I'm more than willing to help provide whatever insight I can. That's what I think this forum is helpful for.
I think the reason that the doctor/meds gets used is because the inherent consequences that can occur if someone is in a dark dire view of life. I think Robin Williams the actor is a good example of what people and their thought process can lead to. I bet anyone here would say he would have no reason to be unhappy..fame fortune...etc. Obviously he thought otherwise. I had an uncle commit suicide and left a wife and three young kids alone. He had no reason to do it.
I think the problem is that for some they don't really know what to ask or how to ask. Therapy will help get to the root of the problem, but for me I didn't find it useful as I was the one leading all the conversations. I knew all the reasons why, I just couldn't figure out how to make me feel better.
I'm not sure what your struggles are...hard to view this forum on a Blackberry, but I'm more than willing to help provide whatever insight I can. That's what I think this forum is helpful for.
People are judging and criticizing creatures. You cannot expect to have a conversation without any judgement, although sometimes the judgement is withheld and not communicated. If this forum is about not communicating (eg. not communicating judgement), then I do understand it, because there is no place in the whole world to communicate unrestricted unacceptable emotions. This forum simply reflects the state of the human world. Or, maybe, I'm breaking a tabu judging and criticizing the forum?
PS I don't know what I'm looking for. If I knew, I'd move on to somewhere else from here.
PS I don't know what I'm looking for. If I knew, I'd move on to somewhere else from here.
Hi no-answer,
Personally, I've found this site beneficial in the sense of being "heard," and that I can contribute to others seeking advice or someone to listen.
To receive feedback from others who understand helps. I also find a sense of purpose and healing when I can help others. The only times I feel frustrated is when I post a topic and receive no response. However, because we all vary in our reasons for being here, it's understandable. People tend to gravitate to those in similar situations as themselves, because a bond of empathy and understanding is formed.
This is often the case.
Perhaps, a person posts a topic about some hardship they're dealing with. Another person comes along who has past experience with that same issue, and can offer advice and compassion.
Although I'd rather communicate with others face-to-face, posting helps regardless. We're basically writing letters, and with feedback there's a sense of camaraderie that's born through relating to one another.
I've also made a handful of friends that I've conversed with on a regular basis. Loneliness most often accompanies depression. Therefore, to find a genuine friend is priceless- someone who understands and cares enough to stick around when times are tough. (even if it's someone met online)
Personally, I've found this site beneficial in the sense of being "heard," and that I can contribute to others seeking advice or someone to listen.
To receive feedback from others who understand helps. I also find a sense of purpose and healing when I can help others. The only times I feel frustrated is when I post a topic and receive no response. However, because we all vary in our reasons for being here, it's understandable. People tend to gravitate to those in similar situations as themselves, because a bond of empathy and understanding is formed.
This is often the case.
Perhaps, a person posts a topic about some hardship they're dealing with. Another person comes along who has past experience with that same issue, and can offer advice and compassion.
Although I'd rather communicate with others face-to-face, posting helps regardless. We're basically writing letters, and with feedback there's a sense of camaraderie that's born through relating to one another.
I've also made a handful of friends that I've conversed with on a regular basis. Loneliness most often accompanies depression. Therefore, to find a genuine friend is priceless- someone who understands and cares enough to stick around when times are tough. (even if it's someone met online)
My apologies. I meant no confrontation in my response. I guess I'm not understanding your posts message. I don't think that there is (or any I have seen) as to people casting judgement. However peoples values are different, which people may convey, but it's only judgement when someone expects for someone else to live up to their values. Otherwise, it's just feedback. If that makes any sense.
...and I sometimes wonder if finding people who can relate to despair I feel does improve things at all... sometimes, i'm afraid it may create a kind of synergy off despair that makes the problem even more insurmountable, even bigger without even a hope of a good outcome...
It feels good when someone answers, but it feels good to drown all the sorrows in drinking too, for a short while, without lifting the problem
long-term or forever.
I guess, the downside would be a complete loss of compassion for others, thinking like: if i could get through it and come out on the other side, then shouldn't everybody? So, it may serve well to keep coming back to despair now and then, if not for individual, but for the world, maybe.
I feel exhausted to continue this rambling reply, but I didn't feel like leaving you with no answer.
It feels good when someone answers, but it feels good to drown all the sorrows in drinking too, for a short while, without lifting the problem
long-term or forever.
I guess, the downside would be a complete loss of compassion for others, thinking like: if i could get through it and come out on the other side, then shouldn't everybody? So, it may serve well to keep coming back to despair now and then, if not for individual, but for the world, maybe.
I feel exhausted to continue this rambling reply, but I didn't feel like leaving you with no answer.
Hi no-answer,
Were you primarily answering myself or Doogie? Or, both?
I know what you mean about synergy- how it can seem that the state of depression might be compounded by the suffering of all as a whole. Good concept...
You've made me thirst for a cold one! I won't lie and say that I've never self-medicated. Way too many times! The only issue with this is waking up the following day with not only the same problems, but a hangover to add to the mix. Lol!
You seem like a person who speaks your mind in
an honest and straight-forward kinda way. I appreciate that.
So, what are your days like? What do you like to do?
Were you primarily answering myself or Doogie? Or, both?
I know what you mean about synergy- how it can seem that the state of depression might be compounded by the suffering of all as a whole. Good concept...
You've made me thirst for a cold one! I won't lie and say that I've never self-medicated. Way too many times! The only issue with this is waking up the following day with not only the same problems, but a hangover to add to the mix. Lol!
You seem like a person who speaks your mind in
an honest and straight-forward kinda way. I appreciate that.
So, what are your days like? What do you like to do?
What are my days like? A mixture of reading (non-fiction popular scientific stuff), athletic activities and a social gathering of esoteric or cultural nature now and then. Mostly, my days are filled with long time sleeping and dreaming the dreams I stopped recording and analyzing. So, mostly I feel like my days are wasted.
"Unexamined dream is not worth dreaming", as someone frequently quoted said or wrote some long time ago.
"Unexamined dream is not worth dreaming", as someone frequently quoted said or wrote some long time ago.
Hi, 4EverMe,
No I haven't read Dean Koontz. Probably, because of my narrow-minded aversion to most fiction. Although I'm not sure I can give a definition of what "fiction" is. Isn't everything we read to some degree fiction, unless we read it while the narrative is happening simultaneously (ergo impossible)?
When I alluded to dreams I had Robert Johnson's "Inner Work" in mind. I think of it as a useful exercise in creativity that is difficult but may be very rewarding. Have you heard of it?
Also, I feel a bit of self-conscious guilt for continuing the conversation in the topic that questions usefullness of this forum. Does it not prove to be useful just by the fact that I find someone (you) and something (subjects of interest) to share here?
Should we start another topic? We don't have to, but I'm ok either way.
No I haven't read Dean Koontz. Probably, because of my narrow-minded aversion to most fiction. Although I'm not sure I can give a definition of what "fiction" is. Isn't everything we read to some degree fiction, unless we read it while the narrative is happening simultaneously (ergo impossible)?
When I alluded to dreams I had Robert Johnson's "Inner Work" in mind. I think of it as a useful exercise in creativity that is difficult but may be very rewarding. Have you heard of it?
Also, I feel a bit of self-conscious guilt for continuing the conversation in the topic that questions usefullness of this forum. Does it not prove to be useful just by the fact that I find someone (you) and something (subjects of interest) to share here?
Should we start another topic? We don't have to, but I'm ok either way.
Robert Johnson? I don't recall hearing about any of his books. However, creativity is right up my alley!
No, don't feel guilty about anything briefly discussed that doesn't pertain to depression.
In a sense, even the brought up idea of reading could be helpful to some; it's a reminder of something positive that can be used as a distraction from nagging depressive thoughts.
But, I agree. I usually keep off-topic discussions to a minimum.
There was something else in your post I'd planned on responding too. Now, I forget. Because I'm doing all this via cellphone, I have to submit this, and then go and reread your post!
No, don't feel guilty about anything briefly discussed that doesn't pertain to depression.
In a sense, even the brought up idea of reading could be helpful to some; it's a reminder of something positive that can be used as a distraction from nagging depressive thoughts.
But, I agree. I usually keep off-topic discussions to a minimum.
There was something else in your post I'd planned on responding too. Now, I forget. Because I'm doing all this via cellphone, I have to submit this, and then go and reread your post!
Oh yeah...
There's no need to feel self-conscious about it. What ever helps is useful!
It's also a normal manner by which we people break the ice. Speaking about the deeper things in life, with some attention focused on the 'mundane,' is only human. In that aspect, it also proves to be more genuine- thus, more beneficial. Hmm...
So, what did you eat for dinner? (kidding)
Are you left handed? Right handed? Still undecided? Ha ha. By the way, humor is the best medicine! And, music? A must have, as well.
More importantly, how did your day go?
There's no need to feel self-conscious about it. What ever helps is useful!
It's also a normal manner by which we people break the ice. Speaking about the deeper things in life, with some attention focused on the 'mundane,' is only human. In that aspect, it also proves to be more genuine- thus, more beneficial. Hmm...
So, what did you eat for dinner? (kidding)
Are you left handed? Right handed? Still undecided? Ha ha. By the way, humor is the best medicine! And, music? A must have, as well.
More importantly, how did your day go?
-
Soliloqueen
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:46 am
- Location: Florida, US
Well no-answer, I read your original post and some of the replies, including some of yours, and so far I'm inclined to agree. I myself am not totally sure what I want out of this website. I find solace in giving advice if it helps someone, and I think one good turn deserves another so I guess I keep hoping someone will give me advice too. I posted a very long, detailed summation of my issues on here last night, and haven't gotten any replies. I guess even though I knew this was a relatively small site, I assumed someone would reply within a day or so because I looked through some of the other posts and they all had replies from the same person within a few hours. So I figured I'd get one too eventually. But I haven't yet, I'm trying to be patient but my post only has 20 something views right now and I'm worried maybe it's so long that nobody is going to know how to respond, or even read the whole thing.
It's too early for me personally to say whether the site is effective or not, but I can say I'm a little disappointed because I poured my heart out over the internet into a lengthy exposé that I would never utter a word of in real life, and nobody seems to care. On one hand it's a relief to me because I like writing and it helped me confront some things within myself, but at the same time I'm disappointed and a little worried I won't get any replies. I think maybe the site is too small, I wish it were a larger community with enough people online to respond to each other more quickly. Since it is a depression site, there are people on here who are seriously struggling and some may need help asap, but what happens to them if nobody replies? It seems it would just upset them so much more. How pathetic does it sound saying, "I posted my life story on a depression discussion board and nobody replied"? That sounds like the setup to some sick, sad joke by one of those self-deprecating comedians like maybe Louis C.K.
But no-answer, as for what you said about the conflict with speaking to other depressed people, I can relate. I always find myself wishing I had someone in my life who's as depressed as I am, so I'd have someone I could talk to seriously without upsetting them too badly, and we'd understand each other. I think that's the biggest thing for me, understanding. Nobody in my life realizes the depths of my depression and it would be a breath of fresh air to have someone who does. But I would worry also about us feeding into each other's depression, to an extent, though I really do think the pros would outweigh the cons in this case. I just think a big part of how I am has to do with feelings of alienation, and if I had someone who legitimately understood that it would make things so much easier and I wouldn't have to feel alienated.
It's too early for me personally to say whether the site is effective or not, but I can say I'm a little disappointed because I poured my heart out over the internet into a lengthy exposé that I would never utter a word of in real life, and nobody seems to care. On one hand it's a relief to me because I like writing and it helped me confront some things within myself, but at the same time I'm disappointed and a little worried I won't get any replies. I think maybe the site is too small, I wish it were a larger community with enough people online to respond to each other more quickly. Since it is a depression site, there are people on here who are seriously struggling and some may need help asap, but what happens to them if nobody replies? It seems it would just upset them so much more. How pathetic does it sound saying, "I posted my life story on a depression discussion board and nobody replied"? That sounds like the setup to some sick, sad joke by one of those self-deprecating comedians like maybe Louis C.K.
But no-answer, as for what you said about the conflict with speaking to other depressed people, I can relate. I always find myself wishing I had someone in my life who's as depressed as I am, so I'd have someone I could talk to seriously without upsetting them too badly, and we'd understand each other. I think that's the biggest thing for me, understanding. Nobody in my life realizes the depths of my depression and it would be a breath of fresh air to have someone who does. But I would worry also about us feeding into each other's depression, to an extent, though I really do think the pros would outweigh the cons in this case. I just think a big part of how I am has to do with feelings of alienation, and if I had someone who legitimately understood that it would make things so much easier and I wouldn't have to feel alienated.
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