Search found 11 matches

by ginazz
Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:49 am
Forum: Your Story
Topic: is it destiny?
Replies: 1
Views: 2141

is it destiny?

I am wondering if suicide is my destiny-?--been fighting it for 50 years, and this time it REALLY feels like nothing ahead but current bsd situation--struggling minute by minute ddaily to keep going--any body know of a tol-free astrologer--sounds silly, but I keep thinking I'm fighting a DRIVE I can...
by ginazz
Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:36 am
Forum: Your Story
Topic: My Self Harm and Suicidal Thoughts (may be triggering)
Replies: 3
Views: 3320

it is so sad to read of you at only 17 feeling SO SAD and so hopeless--I'm now 62, but I remember feeling as bad as you from the age of 12 on..I never got into cutting--maybe I would have if it had been "broadcast"--what I DID do was start DIETING at age 14 (how can you feel FAT at 106 lbs...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:43 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: what if i am right?
Replies: 6
Views: 4292

jake, I think I get what you mean--I, too, have always just felt angry when I'm told "it's up to you," "you're only looking at the negatives," etc. when one is that depressed , it's impossible to hear those well-meant remarks--just makes me feel like a worse "weakling,"...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:33 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: any one get rejected by natll suicide prevntn line?
Replies: 7
Views: 5179

that may be--I've been "resisting" the "pull" for 50 years now--I think the hardest thing to do may BE to "keep trying" when you precisely DON'T WANT to "keep trying," THAt to me is what's REAL STRENGTH, to keep on when it doesn't seem to make sense--I've alwa...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:22 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: Gh0st's Story..
Replies: 4
Views: 3541

hey, "ghost," I just joined today, and typing replies is helping me "keep my head above water." I've been resisting "the pull" for FIFTY YEARS now, since I was 12--that's when I firast wanted to die, and my folks yelled at me to "stop doing this to us--SNAP OUT OF ...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:20 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: Gh0st's Story..
Replies: 4
Views: 3541

hey, "ghost," I just joined today, and typing replies is helping me "keep my head above water." I've been resisting "the pull" for FIFTY YEARS now, since I was 12--that's when I firast wanted to die, and my folks yelled at me to "stop doing this to us--SNAP OUT OF ...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:05 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: any one get rejected by natll suicide prevntn line?
Replies: 7
Views: 5179

thanx, Eri--I DID report what happened when I tried their "chat," but yeah, they seem pretty clueless, although it was a NJ crisis call center, and New Jersey is veryn much an "attitude" PLACE! EVERY SINCE MY POOR CAT DIED (BLED OUT AT VET) A WEEK AGO, my outlook has nose-dived w...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 1:15 pm
Forum: Phobias
Topic: eating disorders and depression
Replies: 2
Views: 6790

eating disorders and depression

I've been anorexic/bulimic since age 14 (48 years!)--it started before that, I was 12, in 7th grade, horribly bullied, and an "ugly duckling," and I wanted to die, but got told only to "snap out of it"--2 years later I started dieting, and never looked back--food distracts me fro...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:49 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: any one get rejected by natll suicide prevntn line?
Replies: 7
Views: 5179

this girl answered, and I said, "so give me a reason,"--she said, I don't know you, what is your question?"--I said , "this is the suicide prevention hotline, right, and I need a reason, to stay alive,"--I do not remember what either of us said, then she said something like ...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:41 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: does anyone here really care?
Replies: 6
Views: 4542

jake 99

I think I "get what you mean"--I just joined a few minutes ago--I've been battling depression and suicidal "ideation," as they say, for 50 years, since age 12--latley I'm feeling a "FORCE," be it GOD/UNIVERSE/ driving me "to it"--even the US natl hotline refus...
by ginazz
Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:27 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: any one get rejected by natll suicide prevntn line?
Replies: 7
Views: 5179

any one get rejected by natll suicide prevntn line?

I called the natl line 2xs--the girl claimed I was abusive--I had asked for "areason" to stay alive--when I called back the supervisor told me "I reviewed the call--we are not accepting your call"--boy, did I feel even WORSE--feeling like NO ONE is taking me seriously, and I've b...

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