Who leaves who???

Abandonment

09 April 2014

miss placed

Written by metaLarsllica ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on April 9th, 2014 @ 11:08:33 pm, using 311 words, 1 view
Categories: metaLarsllica

Sometimes the decisions we make can help us and harm us all at the exact same time. Feeling out of place is a horrible feeling especially the only way to fix that feeling is yourself. What's right, whats wrong for yourself is one of the hardest questions to answer. What if the answer is the right one and the wrong one all at once. What do you do then. Your on the inside yet on the outside all at the same time. You fit in and yet you don't. Your kinda like an innocent bystander yet you saw it all. Does that make you involved? Do you know when to speak and when not to speak? It's hard to know what to do and what to say and what not to say. Can you be truly you? If what you want henders you so bad, do you still go for it. It's not always going to. Just things get confusing and mixed up and right vs wrong becomes a blur. The best person to tell you what is best for you is you. What do you do when you can't trust yourself enough to know what is best? You can look to others for answers, but no matter what in the end it's all on you to decide. It becomes a lonely place to be. I once was told, "it's the right choice at the time". Second guessing I suppose helps no one, but it's hard not to do it. You just want what is lost and what is best all at the same time. For me paranoia sets in. Start to think all kinds of stuff and then false reality become truth. You only see what your mind tells you to see.

/me sings "i'm on the outside, i'm looking in, I can see through you, see the real you"

23 March 2014

Written by metaLarsllica ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on March 23rd, 2014 @ 09:31:41 pm, using 157 words, 84 views
Categories: metaLarsllica

Everything gets so messed up all the time. No matter what. Everything always ends up pointless. You go on and on and try and try for nothing it feels. You want to be one person but are another. Nothing changes. Nothing stays the same either. How the hell do you find your place. When you want so much and get so little and hurt more than both. The pain never goes away. It always remains. You wake up with it and go to sleep with it. For what? What do you get in the end? What keeps you going when there is no reason anyone cares about you. You believe maybe a few do, but the smallest thing can trigger you not to believe. When every damn thing every damn day is a trigger how the hell do you find your way???? If only I could find the answers maybe then life can not seem so harsh.

11 January 2014

Written by metaLarsllica ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on January 11th, 2014 @ 08:26:45 pm, using 124 words, 107 views
Categories: metaLarsllica

I have not written in a while. Things just seem to be going down hill. I wish I even knew what to say but I don't. I just felt like I should write something. Lots of things have changed in the last year, but doesn't seem anything was for the good. It all turned out bad. I've stopped doing a lot of things I should be doing to help myself become the person I want to be. I feel i'm back to the old me. I don't really see much of a point in trying to change that again. Lots of things have no point lately. I am not even going to put in a song cause I just don't even care to bother.

23 September 2013

no title

Written by metaLarsllica ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on September 23rd, 2013 @ 10:42:05 pm, using 68 words, 1628 views
Categories: metaLarsllica

So i'm trying really hard to stop thinking about you. It's getting close to the day you left. Seems the closer it gets the more I think. Someone asked what I would say if I could, well I would say I want to be with you. There is only one way to do that, and I need to stop thinking that way. I wish you had never left.

20 April 2013

overlooked

Written by metaLarsllica ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on April 20th, 2013 @ 09:27:44 am, using 314 words, 566 views
Categories: metaLarsllica

Isn't it funny how sometimes were just so invisible. Kinda like the phrase "to be seen, but not heard". Then when you do try with all your might, to say something, do something, it means nothing. So you go back to the way it was, and start to believe it is better to be seen and not heard. Why continue to fight, why continue to struggle. Take 2 steps forward, and get pushed back 500. Sometimes its just best to let things be the way they were meant to be. Sometimes I wonder what ever made me think I could make a difference. How have I even made one, and why I tried to believe I did. I feel useless, I feel I've been in the way more than I have tried to help. It's clear to me now, I just need to shut up sit down, and be invisible again.

Creep:
By: Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs runs
Runs

Runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Who leaves who???

Abandonment

| Next >

April 2014
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 << <   > >>
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30      

Miscellany

XML Feeds

Users Currently Online

  • Guest Users: 8

The Extras

Contact the admin  /   Original B2Evo skin design by Andrew Hreschak
Credits: blog software | best hosting | blog ads