What will today be like?

the morning starts new with the sun and fresh dew as it melds to the afternoon of high heat and blue skys. the evening is warm with cascading sunsets and silhouettes

i miss my friends

lifelong dreams fulfilled: one true love and family to share

let downs and disappointments: i've let down my children by not giving them the childhood of life.

shit

because i'm not depressed enough, i guess i'll try another diet. it can't go too bad since i'm already fatter than a cow. it's with michael thurgood (i think) from body makeover. what can it hurt, maybe i'll learn something. i'm scared!
customer service 6 weeks 1-888-776-8432

i figured it out - dying is no good because if you don't go to heaven, then your supposed to go to hell, then you get lost in an abyss of nothingness. do you feel things when your dead? are you aware that your dead?
what if you already have a fear of the unknown in this life, then you die - does the feeling follow you?

my chest feels like someone has a three inch belt and is squeezing my chest just until it feels like my ribs will bust and my entire chest will cave in. it's hard to catch my breath, like there just isn't room for air, my heart sounds pounding so hare i can feel it in my neck and my brain has so much pressure i think it's about to explode.
tonight i woke with a nightmare that a huge spider came out at me when i opened the cupboard door. the last time a kitchen wooden sppon was dangling over my head surrounded by a web like a cocoon, with multiples spiders coming at me and there were egg sacks on the web. when gary woke me up i was entangled in the web which turned out to be the sheets.
gary ends up waking me each time and giving me an ativan, but i feel as though i can't move.
will this ever end?

tom1071 (i think) is an asshole. what right does he have to ell me to change my feeling, like i can. now i'm crying and can't stop. you fucking idiot!