Tears and Rain!

I'm surronded by darkness!

21 September 2013

Daily Hell

Written by rain ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on September 21st, 2013 @ 08:09:23 pm, using 147 words, 924 views
Categories: General

I feel like I'm going crazy. My daughter won't do anything I want her to and she has throwing, hitting, kicking, biting, swearing tantrums at least three times a day, each lasting ten minutes. I can't understand what I'm doing wrong or why she's acting this way towards me. Her father has a bad temper, swears, spanks and even rages sometimes at her. She listens to him. She wants to be with him, play with him (fun one) a lot. It feels like she fights me every day, all day. It's constant. I just don't understand. I cry all the time. I'm frustrated. I've raised my voice, tried time out, taking things away and even spanking her. She mostly laughs at me. I hate this. I love my daughter but often times I feel like curling up into a ball and just crying until there's nothing left.

12 June 2013

Desperate

Written by rain ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on June 12th, 2013 @ 12:26:39 am, using 133 words, 1156 views
Categories: General

I hurt so bad. Broken and torn. Tired of my soul screaming and my tear stained face. The tears flow like rivers. I just want to know and understand why I choose emotionally unavailable, cold, abusive men over and over. I hate them so much. They take a little piece of my strength and my heart everyday. It rips me apart emotionally. There cruel words kill my soul. There cold and uncaring nature leaves me hungry and desperate to feel loved. Just wanting someone to care. Leaving me with questions. What's wrong with me? Why do I keep going out with men like this? Do I like it? No I hate it. But if I hate the way they treat me, than why? Someone tell me. I don't want to be hurt anymore.

08 June 2013

Reliving

Written by rain ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on June 8th, 2013 @ 05:06:47 pm, using 59 words, 987 views
Categories: General

My heart hurts, the tears running down my face. Wondering why I always fall for for abusive, narcissistic men. I've been in therapy for years, read hundreds of books on the subject, and know what I want. So why would I want this pain over and over. The men that I date don't feel anything inside. Nothing. It's scary

22 January 2012

Close my eyes

Written by rain ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on January 22nd, 2012 @ 06:39:23 pm, using 34 words, 754 views
Categories: General

Feeling more and more down everyday. I feel like I can't do anything. That nothings ever going to get better. I feel like I'm froze in place as the world carries on around me.

29 September 2011

Afraid of Anger

Written by rain ( Contact the author of this post )
Published on September 29th, 2011 @ 06:01:42 pm, using 190 words, 635 views
Categories: General

I feel so much anger and hostility, consuming me, out of control. I'm afraid of all my emotions, especially my anger, destructive. When I'm angy I can feel in every part of my body. I've been with a guy for three years and just realized how bad he's treated me. Sometimes I'm sad and than other times I feel angry. Sometimes I wish that he could feel like I feel. Sometimes I'm so angry that I feel I hate him. Most my anger is at myself for putting up with his cheating, lying, bulling, abusive behavior. I always hook up with guys that are the same. Non caring, disrespecting, using, cheating, abusive men. I feel like somethings wrong with me because I've been working on my issues and why I choose the people in my life for years and here I am in another relationship where someones repeatedly hurting me. Still putting up with it. I don't understand. I'll do anything for this guy and he treats me horribly plus he's cheating. Why am I doing this? Why am I putting up with this? I honestly feel stupid and worthless.

Tears and Rain!

I feel like no one understands me, I'm alone and have to hide how I feel!

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