10/19/11

Permalink 09:05:25 am, Categories: General, 437 words

So, being on holiday I can do this in the morning as the computer is on and I can further update the house and fine tune it. I can look at pictures of my man on line and do the "man" thing. I like to look at the men from other parts of the country. So, I'm not being productive on any level just messing around. I have some family I have to help and will be spending like 4 hrs. with one that I've not spent time like that alone before. He has known me since I was 12. It will be different. I still have a few days left that I don't have to work and some, well a lot of that time I can be alone at home. I might rent another movie. I'm stressed and Depressed about the place I live as I'm habitually on guard about the noise and I don't know what is "normal" in this complex as to what other people put up with or tolerate from there neighbors. I'm bouncing around here as I'm all over the place with my thoughts. I'm still concerned about my checking account being short by $1,000. I don't know where it went and I've been monitoring it to make sure I'm the only one accessing it. I'm am and things are clearing and working right. I keep all the "accounts" in it on the computer and maybe it's just gotten to big and complicated to manage. But, I know I enter everything correctly. I can adjust a couple of pockets and make it balance. I will do some of the shopping I need to do this morning before I have to go to family, this will mean less I have to do later. i have Yoga class tomorrow morning, I switched from Tuesday night. I will do a little shopping and will be ready to go back to work next Tuesday. I haven't exercised for awhile and don't care as when I go back to work I'll get back to the walking and not being able to eat as much. I also have to play with the Meds. as I don't know if it was sugar withdrawal or the stopping the Zyprexa that caused me to not sleep. I'm just not doing much here other then writing what my thoughts are. I would love to write my Fantasy and I know I could. I have in the past written about some experiences but not my Fantasy. Maybe one day. I think it would be fun. I guess I'm done for the day. I'm just rambling on...

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Their My Thoughts, I Made Them

Yes, there just thoughts! Some are irrational(most really). Yes, the thought provokes a feeling. Yes, the feeling provokes a reaction. Change the thought, changes the feeling, changes the reaction! How Simple! Be the "Watcher" of your thoughts. Let them move through your mind. Some say like "puffy white clouds in the Blue sky." Well, what if Self-help books and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy don't cut the mustard? What's left? Hope, Faith..........? It all has to come up and out some how, some way. Even when moving forward goes down and across it's still movement. I have to find my voice somehow.

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