Their My Thoughts, I Made Them

Hi, I have some drinks. I thought I would have to work 7 days in a row to change my days off. I was lucky to have had tommorrow off. So, it's just 6 days in a row. I am lost in my thoughts and I know it. I go to sleep at night and my Fantasy takes control and I am swept away with the emotions that go along with my thoughts. I know how it works and understand it. I really want to have what I Fantaise about. But, I know that it's not possible. I just don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to type with this new computer key board either. I want to have something, Yet I don't feel that I can have it as I don't put any energy towards seeing it happen. How stupid I am to think my Fantasy when I know that it's not for real? I don't know. I like my days off so as I don't have to visit with people. No family and not others as I don't really look at the People I know as friends. Werid. I'm screwed I guess. I have these two vacations coming up and don't want to have either one happen. I am going to move someone, a friend? to Mexico and am werid about going to the bathroom and staying in a hotel room and such instead of looking at it as a road trip to Ca. and then flying to Mexico and having a little time to sit in the sun or sight see. Then there is the yearly trip to LA. that I could do without. I just see them as something I have to do istead of something fun and exciting. I just want to be home. I am so upset about where I live and how it's worked out the past 2 yrs. I should just give it up at this point. I just get handle listening to the people next door even when it's just bad construction instead of them just being noisey. I think I spelled that good. I'm so unhealthy about life at this point. I just want to have somebody, it won't happen...