Archives for: February 2012, 13

02/13/12

Permalink 11:42:33 am, Categories: General, 277 words

Wow, it's been such a time. I have to work 7 days in a row to change my days off. I do have 4 days off when it's over. It was a full moon cycle and it was always fun, not. Work has been a lot. To much overtime and there is nothing I can do at this point. I have some bills to take care of, both trips and the cat sitter and some work done here at the dump. So I guess that it is ok to have a couple of larger checks as I just want to pay cash for it all. The new computer is working ok. I have the old hard drive encased and am using it to back up files and house plans and the quicken files. The computer doesn't really work real well when its attached and on. I'll see. I'm having drinks on my Friday and see that I need more to get a buzz these days. Tolerance. But, it's something I intend to do. I know that it's not the healthest way and I've written about it already. I still have my Fantasy going on and it helps. I found out about the porn star Clint Lockner from the late 70's and early 80's. He died in 93 of Aids. He was a LA policeman and was into weapons. Supposedly he was low keyed. He died in the veterans hospital, not the most wonderful place to die at. I was surprized by it and have feelings about it. I don't know, I've been full of feelings that I suppress and it seems to leak out about all sorts of stuff. Life...

Their My Thoughts, I Made Them

Yes, there just thoughts! Some are irrational(most really). Yes, the thought provokes a feeling. Yes, the feeling provokes a reaction. Change the thought, changes the feeling, changes the reaction! How Simple! Be the "Watcher" of your thoughts. Let them move through your mind. Some say like "puffy white clouds in the Blue sky." Well, what if Self-help books and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy don't cut the mustard? What's left? Hope, Faith..........? It all has to come up and out some how, some way. Even when moving forward goes down and across it's still movement. I have to find my voice somehow.

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