09 July 2008
I have never done anything like this but I am hoping that it helps me. I have not been totally happy for so long that I do not remember when I actually ever was. There is really no reason for this in my mind because I have a wonderful family. Three kids, and a husband who has provided for us. One of my children was a very big handful whom was never really diagnosed with anything but they thought he was bi-polar. He was in and out of psychiatric wards and eventually he was put into foster care. He is now living out of the house on his own and has come a long way although there are many bumps along the way. Right now I am spending a lot of my time trying to help him get a job. He also has to move into a cheaper apartment so I am helping him with this too. He is 21 yrs. old. My other two children are 18 and 14. One boy and a girl. The 18 yr. old is leaving to go to college this september. Things are going along very fast. All my kids are growing up and leaving. My husband and I are having difficulties right now and it is getting harder and harder to cope. I feel like I want to make everything okay for everyone in this world. However the wierd part is that I give so much of myself to others that there is nothing left for my family and the horrible part is, I cannot seem to help it.