11 December 2009
Written by
Joyce (
)
Published on December 11th, 2009 @ 10:42:01 am, using 56 words, 347 views
I have been on chat sites, dating sites, blogs, etc. After all that, I have to go back to my lonely life. Online contact really only seems to accentuate my problems of lonelines. I cannot figure out how to delete or cancel my profile. Please do this for me before I have a nervous breakdown. Thanks.
Written by
Joyce (
)
Published on December 11th, 2009 @ 08:57:16 am, using 285 words, 369 views
I am a 100% disabled Army veteran of the first Persian Gulf War. My diagnosis for service connection is Major Depression and Anxiety, plus IBS. I also have a diagnosis of PTSD, and a number of other physical conditions as well. I have more or less had "emotional problems" since I was 7 years old...my older brother passed, and how it was revealed to me was not handled well. I place no blame; children don't come with instruction manuals, but I do remember changing from the person I was (or could have been) into someone else at that point in my life.
Though my medication does not relieve all of my symptoms, my main problem these days is a simple lack of company, and the affection that comes with it. My psychiatrist tells me that no one ever died from lack of affection, and I thought, but didn't say, but are they really living??? I have not had a hug since April, and I only got one then because it was at my father's funeral... I have been living alone for the past 4 years, I have no friends where I live, and am a member of a large, dysfunctional family that does not speak to one another. My main human contact is with cab drivers and cashiers.
I am a bit dysthymic as I write this; I have been having major difficulty sleeping, and finally gave in around 3:30 or so this morning and took my tranquilizer...
I hope that I do not sound as if I am whining, I know there are people with conditions much worse than mine, but I just have to get this out there and see if anyone understands. Thanks for reading!
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